Friday, 27 November 2009. 12:22 pm

26th's luvs .



What's been w me lately ?.. tearing like shyt for nights . Every place i used t go is filled w my memories for you . Even my room .. Those memories .. where you skipped schl for me , rush down from simei just t get me smth t eat & come down t my house . I gave you a cold shoulder whenever im moodless . But me myself , didnt realise i've fallen into deep luv for you .& i alr cant live w/o you . Still glad that at least i didnt make you unhappy for the whole 2months .. at least most of the times , we're happy right ? im afraid t lose you . Thinking back , how shy we're .. till now , we're v close alr , untill the feelings faded .. 

Living in a world filled w sadness & regret now though i want t change . I clearly understand you , just that i didnt want t express out ..  I wouldnt tear infront of another guy again , I dontwant another guy t wipe away my tears .  I know , what i've done is real bastard . But you know iluvyou , right ?..  I've no intention of hurting you . But if you dislike it , i wouldnt do tht again . Bcos my eyes are only on you now . What ridiculous thing i did was , the next day i still continue t go his house . Really , i slapped myself for doing that . Kill myself , can cigarettes or alchohol numb myself?  swollen eyes .

 Cried every corner of my house , even infront of th labtop . Still waiting for ur sms . & i found out that , you've changed .. so cold t me , like strangers . You even faded feelings for me .. its like a knife stab into my heart straight . Or maybe i deserve all this , that night was our 2nd month . You canot imagine how sad i was . I didnt blame you for being able t meet me up .

If you fade feelings for me , why would you jealous i go t his hse ytd ? Or it was you who lied t urself that you faded feelings for me , bcos i hurt you . No one can stand by me now . Its only 1 day , & you faded feelings for me .. how could it be ? I shouldnt have gone t hishouse , twice , knowing you'll be unhappy but you didnt express it out . You want freedom for me , you trust me . Just that you jealous , right?.. I did understand you ..



 I seriously did nothing much there , only slack . plus there's alot ppl there , not only me & him . Didnt you know ?.. Sorry . I deleted everybody's sms , only left urs . I've put everything down . Remember last time ? You used t hurt me as well , i always will forgive you .. bcos i dontwant t lose you . Maybe ur luv for me , isnt like th luv i've for you . I couldnt amend my mistakes if you dont give a chance .. i've changed . Stop running fom the facts , like how i did . Tell yourself , its impossible for you t fade feelings in just 1 day right?.. Impossible . Its bcos i've hurt you , you wanted t numb urself . I teared a million of tears , hoping you'll be back .

The feelings you have for me are still there , just that you've locked them up . Or maybe im saying all this t numb myself . If you really think you wouldnt be happy at all w me , i wouldnt force you .. As long as you're happy ..  If everything could start afresh .. I promised not t go his hse anymore , even if you're letting me go . Fate brought us tgt . i'd never forget how warm ur hug is . How i wished i could see you later . I could've skip the wedding dinner for you . I didnt remove the standby note , i wonder if you have ..

我爱你 ,但你爱我吗 , 为什么我们变成这样 ..

--
Sorry readers , i would be able t give you guys a proper post from tday onwards . Till i recover . Is this fate i wonder ? So many invitations today . 1st call , aunty called us t go her hse for a big feast . I rejected . 2nd call , from simin & co . I still rejected . 3rd call , kumpua dulan . A wedding dinner , i accepted . I dont wish t be alone in my house .. doing silly things i shouldnt be doing . Nobody's gonna care anymore anw . Havent been eating since last night till now , dinner breakfast & even lunch :) Cool . Lastly , i dont need sympathy or smth . So shut th fuck up :) Thanks .

psb: whts is bwg?
-As replied as xiaomint . bwg=bo wei gong: Nothing t say or speechless .

X.MINT: psb : bo wei gong as in nth t say thanks sist (:
-Welcome :)

2263423's: Babyluv , link me up :D . Luvyou .
-K , luvyou :)

wei zhen: helos! konichiwa's! dont give up, jiayou, we must show we are stronger than boys.! :D relax abit. dont think too much okays?!^^
-I cant .. ._.

♥ Glenis: Relinkkkkk !
-Sure .

Calidear: Sist,cheerup :) Time will heals everything , just keep occupy yourself like going out with friends or keep your mind busy . Trust me, you won't cry and think so much than before Takecare .
-I cant , bcos every corner is filled w memories .

Hatred-: Hi :D dun sad sad liao lah , :D gotta let it go ... no point living ur life torturing urself ... u dun let go , how are u gonna be happy ? Consider wad i say:D if u bored :D msg mi 82374409 :D if u wanna know how i know abt u and ur stead quarrel msg mi :D dhen i tell u
-I wanted t , but i cant seem t let go . I dont need t be happy , cos i dont deserve as well .

Labels: Full of regrets .