The girl with Masquerade
Whispers
I lead, follow me
I'm not loved, I'm wasting space on Earth
Tuesday, 16 August 2011. 1:03 am
The world doesn't revolve around me, so yeap. No matter how many times I fall, the world wouldn't stop just for me. I'm upset now, half of the reason is because my busy week is over :( Days were really busy for me back then....
I'll start from... smoove's event day? Everyone was at Soul clubbing and yes, I didn't went there ^^v Still, I ended up cabbing there because ahhai was telling me bby was drunk blabla and so on. Been working sometimes at pub, pushcart few weeks ago. There was one of the days where I worked at the pushcart and rushed down to Cine to meet my bby as well as ciacia. Caught "Horrible bosses" with them! It was a funny movie seriously, enjoyed it a lot ^^ 8/10. 3 of us spent our night at scape's shopping mall charging our phone and playing fishing joy.____. LOL.
K, next will be about... National day. A total disaster. I didn't managed to catch the fireworks or even the ndp thru tv, not even the replay of it-.- Caught "Zookeeper" with bby at Cine and ended up cabbing home, stupid way of wasting $. I wish I can claim all my money back from the cab companies, they swallowed my money like free flow :( SIGH. Ohya, Zookeeper's really nice!!!! Wanna catch "twisted" badly till now, but haven't watch yet. Forget it, I'm not brave. I'm super timid, I'm afraid of ghost. LOL. I'm used to watching horror shows with people who's able to give me a secure feeling ... lol.
Another day working at pushcart, ciacia and bby came down to find me~ Wanna thank ciacia for lending me her blazer for my work! I think I'm evil, I just threw the pushcart there without anyone tending it and went off shopping with ciacia and bby at bugis street. HAHAHA. Sales totally cui, I mean t o t a l l y.... Worked for the "India property show" at suntec for 2 days, quite okay. But hell man, 10hours for each day.
Skipped work on the 2nd day of the event, fuck it. Partially thanks to someone, lol. Let me further elaborate first, LOL. Went over to Jinda's chalet immediately after work with bby, k I think majority of the people went there either for food or to charge phone. The attendance and food was... *I'm speechless*. Stayed there for around 1 hour or maybe even lesser then we went off. Cabbed to the nearest mrt station, I was really down on luck. Leaving my phone on the cab, luckily there's this kind lady who picked up my phone!!! Gosh, must really thank her.
However.............................. we went down all the way to Sengkang to get it back and there was no public transport for us to go back already-_- So? We cabbed back, all the way from Seng kang to Jurongwest+midnight fare. I needa stop cabbing, I've been cabbing for the whole week, tmd. Was sort of forced to watch midnight movie with ahhai etc. So fed up with her, none of us asked her to buy movie tix and she actually bought it without asking us. Worst?! I've work in the morning later on. Best? She thinks that she's not in the wrong and couldn't understand why I was so fed up. Like seriously, fuck it. This results to me skipping work the next day. !@#$%^&*($#@#%$^&*^%$#@%
Cabbed home straight after the movie and bby came over to my house. Slept all the way til evening and went down to Chunwai's bbq. I didn't ate anything before gg the bbq and after gg the bbq, I didn't eat anything as well-_- Imba. I've been having extreme gastric pain every morning nowadays..... Proud that I actually went home early that day and went for work when I barely slept for 2hours.
Finally have more cash on me, but I guess I'm gonna spent it to pamper myself...... so makes not much of a difference. I'm kinda jobless now and it sucks badly to be so free. I tend to think a lot :/ Oh, happy birthday to my daddy and I hope he likes the present.
--
Taking another closer view of this world and people around me, I'm so afraid. I can't trust anyone, I can't open up to anyone now. What happened to those people who told me that they will be here with me all the time, the world's not a living hell with them around? I put bits and pieces of truth together and painted a full picture of everything myself, I was badly hurt. I don't deny that I cried myself to sleep just now, it was awful. Been sucha long time since I cry, it's tiring to look strong.
I hate all this shits that's happening to me. I can't wait to die, who says Death is not the solution towards everything? It is. That's about it. Lol. Bye.
I'm sick of being abandoned. I'm sick of trusting all the wrong ones. I'm sick of living. I'm sick of pretending to be strong. I'm sick of dealing all the awful feeling I'm feeling inside me. I'm sick of getting hurt. I'm sick of getting forgotten. I'm sick of trying my best and giving in my all, end up someone else who basically did nothing got what I want. I'm sick of reminiscing everything every night. I'm sick of all this.
沉默是我最後温柔, 是因为我太爱你.
The world doesn't revolve around me, so yeap. No matter how many times I fall, the world wouldn't stop just for me. I'm upset now, half of the reason is because my busy week is over :( Days were really busy for me back then....
I'll start from... smoove's event day? Everyone was at Soul clubbing and yes, I didn't went there ^^v Still, I ended up cabbing there because ahhai was telling me bby was drunk blabla and so on. Been working sometimes at pub, pushcart few weeks ago. There was one of the days where I worked at the pushcart and rushed down to Cine to meet my bby as well as ciacia. Caught "Horrible bosses" with them! It was a funny movie seriously, enjoyed it a lot ^^ 8/10. 3 of us spent our night at scape's shopping mall charging our phone and playing fishing joy.____. LOL.
K, next will be about... National day. A total disaster. I didn't managed to catch the fireworks or even the ndp thru tv, not even the replay of it-.- Caught "Zookeeper" with bby at Cine and ended up cabbing home, stupid way of wasting $. I wish I can claim all my money back from the cab companies, they swallowed my money like free flow :( SIGH. Ohya, Zookeeper's really nice!!!! Wanna catch "twisted" badly till now, but haven't watch yet. Forget it, I'm not brave. I'm super timid, I'm afraid of ghost. LOL. I'm used to watching horror shows with people who's able to give me a secure feeling ... lol.
Another day working at pushcart, ciacia and bby came down to find me~ Wanna thank ciacia for lending me her blazer for my work! I think I'm evil, I just threw the pushcart there without anyone tending it and went off shopping with ciacia and bby at bugis street. HAHAHA. Sales totally cui, I mean t o t a l l y.... Worked for the "India property show" at suntec for 2 days, quite okay. But hell man, 10hours for each day.
Skipped work on the 2nd day of the event, fuck it. Partially thanks to someone, lol. Let me further elaborate first, LOL. Went over to Jinda's chalet immediately after work with bby, k I think majority of the people went there either for food or to charge phone. The attendance and food was... *I'm speechless*. Stayed there for around 1 hour or maybe even lesser then we went off. Cabbed to the nearest mrt station, I was really down on luck. Leaving my phone on the cab, luckily there's this kind lady who picked up my phone!!! Gosh, must really thank her.
However.............................. we went down all the way to Sengkang to get it back and there was no public transport for us to go back already-_- So? We cabbed back, all the way from Seng kang to Jurongwest+midnight fare. I needa stop cabbing, I've been cabbing for the whole week, tmd. Was sort of forced to watch midnight movie with ahhai etc. So fed up with her, none of us asked her to buy movie tix and she actually bought it without asking us. Worst?! I've work in the morning later on. Best? She thinks that she's not in the wrong and couldn't understand why I was so fed up. Like seriously, fuck it. This results to me skipping work the next day. !@#$%^&*($#@#%$^&*^%$#@%
Cabbed home straight after the movie and bby came over to my house. Slept all the way til evening and went down to Chunwai's bbq. I didn't ate anything before gg the bbq and after gg the bbq, I didn't eat anything as well-_- Imba. I've been having extreme gastric pain every morning nowadays..... Proud that I actually went home early that day and went for work when I barely slept for 2hours.
Finally have more cash on me, but I guess I'm gonna spent it to pamper myself...... so makes not much of a difference. I'm kinda jobless now and it sucks badly to be so free. I tend to think a lot :/ Oh, happy birthday to my daddy and I hope he likes the present.
--
Taking another closer view of this world and people around me, I'm so afraid. I can't trust anyone, I can't open up to anyone now. What happened to those people who told me that they will be here with me all the time, the world's not a living hell with them around? I put bits and pieces of truth together and painted a full picture of everything myself, I was badly hurt. I don't deny that I cried myself to sleep just now, it was awful. Been sucha long time since I cry, it's tiring to look strong.
I hate all this shits that's happening to me. I can't wait to die, who says Death is not the solution towards everything? It is. That's about it. Lol. Bye.
I'm sick of being abandoned. I'm sick of trusting all the wrong ones. I'm sick of living. I'm sick of pretending to be strong. I'm sick of dealing all the awful feeling I'm feeling inside me. I'm sick of getting hurt. I'm sick of getting forgotten. I'm sick of trying my best and giving in my all, end up someone else who basically did nothing got what I want. I'm sick of reminiscing everything every night. I'm sick of all this.
沉默是我最後温柔, 是因为我太爱你.