The girl with Masquerade
Whispers
I lead, follow me
May I have enough trials to make me strong.
Wednesday, 27 July 2011. 2:42 am
Everytime I look back my latest post and comparing it with my current life, I tend to notice the big changes that took place, be it in days or even weeks. My life seems like a god damn drama to me now, I can't help wondering why the hell is my life changing so fast. I feel exhausted as I try to keep up with the changes. Why isn't my life the same as the rest of the teenage girls? Attending school in the weekdays and shopping trip on Saturdays, staying home to do homework on Sundays.....
I don't know how I feel anymore. I guess I've changed??? Quote: "There are two reasons why people change; First: they have learned a lot. Second they've been hurt too much." How true. I needa make sure that I don't become weak again. I can't allow myself to wallow in self-pity again, I can't willingly allow hurt inflict me again and again. There's so much thoughts running through my mind everyday nowadays, I need some time to sort them out.
Apparently judging on the surface, my life look as though it's turning better and I'm becoming "happier"? As much as I wanna deny that, it really isn't... I just wanna stop looking like a pathetic bitch who keeps on grieving over love matters, I don't want to look like a joke. Why do I need to bear with all the stupid things I don't want to? Why do I need to break my heart over, over, over and over again? Why should I be so compromising and give in my all, end up getting myself drained and hurt? Why do I need to make myself a option?
Why wait for a guy who's not the one I fell for? Do I need to do that to myself? No. Because I figured out that, that guy whom I've met in the first place, whom I fell for , will always stay in my heart :') I will hold on to that "him" I knew for as long as I can. I reminisce about us, every single night. Walking around my room, retrieving all the memories we shared...
I will try to be happy as frequent as I can and still will continue fight against the bad temptations because I remember someone said this: "You're always dependent on me, you need to be more independent. I can't help worrying what will become of you if I'm gone from your life one day. Will you be led astray by the rest?"
Everything, every word, every single memory is deeply etched in my heart.
This are all I managed to figured out after reflecting for nights.
--
Enough of the dramas and all. I've uploaded all the overdue photos and majority of them are not edited so please bear with it... blame on my laziness ok.
I've been spending a lot of $$$ on food :( Especially on prata, bah kut teh and cold taohuey!!! I don't know what got into me and bby recently, machiam on food marathon. LOL. Yes, we are crazy to actually go around in balesteir and novena for food at midnight-__-
Ohya not forgetting that we've been bringing our phone chargers around just in case our battery runs low, hehehehhe :$ Bah kut teh shop to charge phone, amk hub pushcart to charge phone, cine's smoking area~~~ omg seriously damn hilarious. Well well, things are always crazy with my bby around ♥♥♥.
I nearly forgot to mention this, I went for Chinese O level's oral and LC already. It was quite okay :/ I'm super worried for my o's already. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, never ending troubles for me. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Met Fengyi and spent our day at town, wonderful day! One thing that cheered me up, a little. Lachron and wilson persuading me to go USS with them in the middle of the night when I was at cine-__-||| LOL. Gotta thank them for the free ticket for me and also sponsoring more than half of the ticket price for my bby. Going to USS is under my wishlist for very long already!!!! FINALLY IT CAME TRUE. But sadly, not with the ones I wanna go with :(
I didn't enjoyed as much as I expected to... maybe part of the reason was because USS don't have a lot of games and I was super deprived for sleep!? I didn't slept for 2nights before I went to USS. Imagine how sleepy I was. The starbucks coffee did manage to keep me awake for few hours though... I'm getting uglier(random)
Yes, I've sat the bloody rollercoaster and blabla, I even sat the merry-go-round :x HEHE. One thing I hate about that day, HOT WEATHER. It was hot like hell, like as if we're in a suana. Gosh, can't take it. I was perspiring like hellz. Went home around 7pm and I was walking in a zigzac mode. I look like a walking zombie.
After USS that day, I've been staying home. Spending more than 15hours sleeping and locking myself in the room. And wow, I haven't text with people for days already.... What's wrong hur!? Okok, enough of all this. Should I go eat taohuey and bah kut teh (here I go again) with bby later and go visit kristyn? She've gave birth to meimeiyuen!!!!!!! Omg you've no idea how happy I was when I received that news. I LOVE KIDS. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ^v^
Random: National day's coming!!!!! No, die also must watch fireworks this year la! >:( Didn't managed to see it last year and end up at amk's lan shop-.- So, back to the point, I MUST SEE FIREWORKS THIS YEAR. Er, add on, I hope to watch it with all my loved ones. None of them should be missed out :|
That's all. I hope everything goes well for me :')
May my will to go on gets stronger everyday. I'm not alone, it's not a living hell with you here, inside my heart. No time is too long, no distance is too far if two person's meant to be.
多的是, 你不知道的事. 你不知道我为什么盘旋在你看不见的高空里.
Everytime I look back my latest post and comparing it with my current life, I tend to notice the big changes that took place, be it in days or even weeks. My life seems like a god damn drama to me now, I can't help wondering why the hell is my life changing so fast. I feel exhausted as I try to keep up with the changes. Why isn't my life the same as the rest of the teenage girls? Attending school in the weekdays and shopping trip on Saturdays, staying home to do homework on Sundays.....
I don't know how I feel anymore. I guess I've changed??? Quote: "There are two reasons why people change; First: they have learned a lot. Second they've been hurt too much." How true. I needa make sure that I don't become weak again. I can't allow myself to wallow in self-pity again, I can't willingly allow hurt inflict me again and again. There's so much thoughts running through my mind everyday nowadays, I need some time to sort them out.
Apparently judging on the surface, my life look as though it's turning better and I'm becoming "happier"? As much as I wanna deny that, it really isn't... I just wanna stop looking like a pathetic bitch who keeps on grieving over love matters, I don't want to look like a joke. Why do I need to bear with all the stupid things I don't want to? Why do I need to break my heart over, over, over and over again? Why should I be so compromising and give in my all, end up getting myself drained and hurt? Why do I need to make myself a option?
Why wait for a guy who's not the one I fell for? Do I need to do that to myself? No. Because I figured out that, that guy whom I've met in the first place, whom I fell for , will always stay in my heart :') I will hold on to that "him" I knew for as long as I can. I reminisce about us, every single night. Walking around my room, retrieving all the memories we shared...
I will try to be happy as frequent as I can and still will continue fight against the bad temptations because I remember someone said this: "You're always dependent on me, you need to be more independent. I can't help worrying what will become of you if I'm gone from your life one day. Will you be led astray by the rest?"
Everything, every word, every single memory is deeply etched in my heart.
This are all I managed to figured out after reflecting for nights.
--
Enough of the dramas and all. I've uploaded all the overdue photos and majority of them are not edited so please bear with it... blame on my laziness ok.
I've been spending a lot of $$$ on food :( Especially on prata, bah kut teh and cold taohuey!!! I don't know what got into me and bby recently, machiam on food marathon. LOL. Yes, we are crazy to actually go around in balesteir and novena for food at midnight-__-
Ohya not forgetting that we've been bringing our phone chargers around just in case our battery runs low, hehehehhe :$ Bah kut teh shop to charge phone, amk hub pushcart to charge phone, cine's smoking area~~~ omg seriously damn hilarious. Well well, things are always crazy with my bby around ♥♥♥.
I nearly forgot to mention this, I went for Chinese O level's oral and LC already. It was quite okay :/ I'm super worried for my o's already. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, never ending troubles for me. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Met Fengyi and spent our day at town, wonderful day! One thing that cheered me up, a little. Lachron and wilson persuading me to go USS with them in the middle of the night when I was at cine-__-||| LOL. Gotta thank them for the free ticket for me and also sponsoring more than half of the ticket price for my bby. Going to USS is under my wishlist for very long already!!!! FINALLY IT CAME TRUE. But sadly, not with the ones I wanna go with :(
I didn't enjoyed as much as I expected to... maybe part of the reason was because USS don't have a lot of games and I was super deprived for sleep!? I didn't slept for 2nights before I went to USS. Imagine how sleepy I was. The starbucks coffee did manage to keep me awake for few hours though... I'm getting uglier(random)
Yes, I've sat the bloody rollercoaster and blabla, I even sat the merry-go-round :x HEHE. One thing I hate about that day, HOT WEATHER. It was hot like hell, like as if we're in a suana. Gosh, can't take it. I was perspiring like hellz. Went home around 7pm and I was walking in a zigzac mode. I look like a walking zombie.
After USS that day, I've been staying home. Spending more than 15hours sleeping and locking myself in the room. And wow, I haven't text with people for days already.... What's wrong hur!? Okok, enough of all this. Should I go eat taohuey and bah kut teh (here I go again) with bby later and go visit kristyn? She've gave birth to meimeiyuen!!!!!!! Omg you've no idea how happy I was when I received that news. I LOVE KIDS. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ^v^
Random: National day's coming!!!!! No, die also must watch fireworks this year la! >:( Didn't managed to see it last year and end up at amk's lan shop-.- So, back to the point, I MUST SEE FIREWORKS THIS YEAR. Er, add on, I hope to watch it with all my loved ones. None of them should be missed out :|
That's all. I hope everything goes well for me :')
May my will to go on gets stronger everyday. I'm not alone, it's not a living hell with you here, inside my heart. No time is too long, no distance is too far if two person's meant to be.
多的是, 你不知道的事. 你不知道我为什么盘旋在你看不见的高空里.